I walked into the cinema fully expecting to see a shit action film with little to no plot, basic american characters, and ninety-five percent of the film length to be made up of action. However, I was thrilled to discover that the ceiling of the cinema had a very interesting pattern on it, which kept me well entertained throughout the film.
In all seriousness, I haven't seen as boring a film since 'Wolfman'. Action scene. Action scene. Oh look, she can pretty much fly at this point. Twenty people shooting at her and she doesn't get more than a graze, she must be incorporeal.
Who the hell writes the plot for that sort of film? Who manages to become a director when they can't make a plot less predictable than 'The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar'? I'm not exaggerating when I say that I could've told you every plot twist in that film after the first ten minutes. I don't know why I even agreed to see the damn thing - I knew it'd be a shit action film from the poster.
I would love to meet the director of that film and give him a good hard kick to the sarcophagus -Yes, the sarcophagus - for wasting my time. And wasting my time at the moment is quite a feat, seeing as I have very little to do.
I'd give this film 0/10, but I don't feel it makes the point well enough. I'm giving it -10/10 I would like to claim back 10 points from this film. I would like to see a film worth giving 10/10 in order to make up for this film.
Now, as for the ceiling pattern, that deserved 0/10. That was a neutral ceiling pattern. I may be misportraying it by calling it a pattern, seeing as it was a blanc white ceiling. However, it certainly deserves 0/10. Whoever directed that ceiling owes me nothing.
Anyway, I'm quite done ranting about that film now.
Take toast out, try again.
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