That

...was shit as fuck, as they say.

Serious waste of an evening. Also, I hate facebook. Also, there's a ridiculous amount of ignorant idiots on there who won't have anyone doubt anyone who says that they're special and uses fake physics to 'prove' it.

Also, I broke my shoelaces just before we went out, so I need to get new ones before my driving lesson tomorrow.

Veggie burgers from burger king are shite, fast food makes me feel ill every time without fail. I'd rather have gone hungry, on reflection. And the ice-cream machine was broken.

Also, my amp can make funny noises :D

Also, cinema on wednesday (Y) decent film :)

I should get started on homework soon, get it out the way. However, otherwise.

Ain't no homework on The Road.

If you understand where that came from, you're probably Conor.

Adieu

Bella

Bella, my cat, is a sweet little cat, barely over a year old, who's very cuddly and sweet, I'll try to get a picture of her for you:

Ok, it came out there. I'm not moving it

Isn't she a lovely little kitty, sitting there all adora-

She's the fucking spawn of Satan. She woke me up numerous times last night, meowing repeatedly. You don't understand just how repeatedly I mean. She actually manages to interrupt her own meow with the next meow. It's fucking ridiculous.

I've inspired myself, you can see my other cats if you'd like:

This is Missy:

That upload thing's shite, it's making me upload everything twice. I give up. That's 2/3 of my cats for you.

So, on top of the cat waking me up, I must've had some bad dreams, because I woke up on what can only be considered the wrong train of thought. Along this train of thought, I concluded that two weeks off could hardly have come at a better time: I've been stressed and seriously needing to get away from things for a while now.

And now for a rant.

My auntie Janette (I don't know if that's how it's spelt) is a fucking bitch. Me and Jamie, trying to watch a film (ok, it was a stand-up, but the point remains). We were half way through it when she fucking well comes in and starts bellowing at the top of her voice, just in case we could hear it and enjoy ourselves, then fucking will and jack come in: start telling us (in detail) about how they're doing on various games, and asking us about what we do on those games (which we don't own), and generally being themselves. By this point, me and Jamie have sat right next to the T.V. (Yes, right fucking next to it. I am not exaggerating.) and we can't hear a fucking word. Janette comes in, sits where Jamie was sitting, and had put his jacket, (bear in mind she made him give up this fucking seat in a vain attempt to hear the fucking T.V), and she said, in full confidence, not a shred of remorse or shame in her fucking voice:
"Who's is this? Jamie's? What, does he just dump it anywhere now?"

On reflection, I handled the situation badly. I didn't say anything; what I should've said was:
"Dick off, you fucking whore. If our roles were currently reversed, you'd be telling us to shut up and how children weren't like that in your day. I really fucking hope you die in a fucking hole so that we don't have to hear your fucking voice; your life means less to me than hearing the rest of what Michael McIntyre has to say."

Anyway, I'm not sure what time it is: we've just gone off true time, so I'm pretty damn confused as to whether I've got ten minutes or an hour and ten minutes before I have to go out. Fucking clocks.

I've got to go out at some point, anyway, to set up my Wii at my mum's friend's house. They're borrowing it, seeing as I don't use it.

Right, going now. Enjoy life.

Adieu.

Manchester

...was shit. They talked to us about jobs in maths for three hours, everyone but me got to do a maths quiz thing, but I had a stupid fucking bitch in my group who decided that I didn't need to see it - even though, not to be big-headed, I was the best at maths in the group. Anyway, I suppose a good thing or two came out of the train journey. Firstly, George inspired me to download the newest Pokemon, which I've been playing on, and I met a few people. I met three people, actually: I can't really remember their names, except for Tish, because it's short and unusual. I saw her again today, and she couldn't remember my name. How, you might ask, the fuck has she managed to add me on facebook? 'Tis beyond me. Not that it's a bad thing - in fact it's really quite impressive - she seems nice enough. That makes it sound like I don't like her but don't have a reason, but I actually just don't have much of an opinion on her, and have spent far too much time trying to explain that fact to you, so I'll move on.

Chocolate doughnuts = mini chocolate cake. Fuck yeah.

Driving lesson this morning went very well: I really think I'm getting the hang of driving, and it's pretty fun.

That's fucking hilarious.

Anyway, I've been sitting here for an hour blatantly not doing homework.

I bid you a-motherfucking-dieu.

Unintended

Tired tired tired

I need to stop repeating words in blog titles, it really doesn't achieve much.

I'm unbelievably tired. I didn't do exercises yesterday, because I was tired then too. Now I'm paying for it, because I'm more tired and I really can't slack off if I want to stay in the habit.

Ah well, at least I've got a nice trip to Manchester to look forward to, right? It may well be shit, cost me ten pounds, get me home at seven, have to do homework after I get home and barely have any time to myself, make me miss physics, have to catch up with that, and generally ruin my day. It might be good, though. I was very much hoping James would go - he sits next to me in Further Maths, and he's one of the only people I can actually have a conversation with who takes Further Maths, but he's kinda in Iceland. So it's likely to be me and George all day, which isn't great. Not that I don't like George, he's just not someone I can talk to extensively.

So much I should've done today, but I just can't bring myself to do anything on a Tuesday, it's my doss day.

Driving lesson moved to Thursday. Not a particularly bad thing.

Haven't done homework due in on Monday. Need to do that soon; possibly on the train.

I'm kinda hungry, but I've eaten too much today anyway.

Need a good book to read.

Need to have something to look forward to on Mondays again.

Need sleep.

Adieu.

Doors

There are barn doors
And there are revolving doors

Doors on the rudders of big ships
And there are revolving doors

There are doors that open by themselves
There are sliding doors
And there are secret doors

There are doors that lock
And doors that don't

There are doors that let you in
And out
But never open
But there are trapdoors
That you can't come back from.

Just thought I'd share that with you - my current favourite song.

The first bit's the lyrics (it's hard to hear them if you don't know the words).

As per (kind of) usual, I'm taking a break from doing homework. Let's start off general then go into the specifics:

Rating of life at the moment (on a scale of 0%= I wouldn't be writing this, I'd be heading to the nearest deadly object to kill myself, to 100% = I'm in a state of eternal bliss, 50% = meh) : 20%

I'm avoiding going on MSN in case someone starts having a serious conversation about...

No need to finish that sentence.

I don't have a decent book to read: I've just got a couple of crappy modern books by authors who are about as articulate and imaginative as your average twelve year old.

I have a great game to be playing on, but not enough time to play it.

I have some great music to listen to, but it makes homework take SO much longer.

I'm avoiding about six trains of thought, one of which stemmed from a dream I had last night which isn't fit to put on the internet: it's the sort of thing that'd have to go on my old blog. In fact, it couldn't go on my old blog.

I'm struggling with Maths (Decision Maths, for the I'm-going-to-burn-whoever's-idea-it-was-to-put-this-on-the-syllabus (to be used in the same sense as 'for the win'), Further maths, not great at Chemistry (as usual). The only good subject for me at the moment is Physics. The current topic has re-inspired me to go for a Physics degree. I was debating a Maths degree, but I want to know more about Quarks and Fundamental Forces and Shit and That.

Specifically, today was shite. All four subjects: got the decent one (Physics) out of the way first, to leave utter crap for the rest. No break - thanks to Chemistry definitions resit - Short lunch inside with just Conor and Luke because it was raining, and I've been on my own in the house since I got home, and no-one'll be in until at least half eight, but it's more likely to be nine.

Ah well, I quite like being alone in the house, I only have one more piece of homework (which I have most of the answers to [I'm re-doing a piece, because I only got 72%]), and then I can relax. Although I'll probably be going to bed fairly soon after I finish it - I barely slept over the weekend; I just sort of lay in bed for ages, going to bed at about nine and getting up not long after six. I couldn't have slept for more than five/six hours a night, which simply isn't enough for me on a weekend.

Anyway, I kinda need to do this homework, so I'll bid you Adieu.

Go away go away go away go away

*deletes first bit because it doesn't make sense*

Why do people have to be so goddamn confident over msn and text? it's fucking annoying: it's like everyone's two people: face-to-face them and internet them. That get's on my fucking nerves.

as you may be able to tell, i've been in better moods.

Why the hell won't this fucking bad situation go away? believe it or not, if you break up with someone you do it for a reason, and you've thought it through a considerable amount: so you're not going to change your mind! certain people (person, actually) can't understand that. Also, they're a liiitle bit blind to the truth.

I'm being a hypocrite for not just saying who it is and exactly what they said, but that hardly seems fair on them, nichola, or me.

I just want to forget the whole situation and carry on with life as normal.

I've just remembered something that my old ju-jitsu teacher said to me once. it was something along the lines of "if you're feeling depressed - your dog died or whatever - if someone comes over to you and is feeling great - they've won the lottery! life's great! - and asks you how you are: you reply 'i'm fantastic!'. You just do, otherwise you'll just ruin their day!"

I can't remember why he said it, but that kinda stuck with me. So there, every time you ask me in person how i am, i will say that i'm fine.

again, i'm being a hypocrite. if you ask me over msn, i'm liable to say 'meh'. i'm all over the place today.

i'm going to go calm down - have some coffee, go out with my dad, do some homework, possibly (if i have time) go on dragon age. i haven't had time two nights in a row to do my exercises; which is bad. I'm going to struggle with that tonight, methinks.

ah well, i'd say i'll be feeling far better once my homework's done - just because i'm a geek/nerd (can't remember which one's which) and find some pieces of homework relaxing and enjoyable. Such is my life.

Also, i feel i should've mentioned Lou's last night. It was fun, but exactly as i predicted there were far too many people: there was a quite literal split between groups, although there only seemed to be two groups. I was at the edge of our group, so i couldn't join in the conversation much at all, and I ended up being slightly harassed by evie and emily and lizzie, or however you want to spell their names. that wasn't fun. overall, it was good fun though.

anyway, i'm off, and shall bid you adieu. (yes, I'm going back to that one)

Rain

Rain's such a miserable sounding word, but a fair few people (including me) like rain: it should have a happier name.

Admittedly, I only mentioned it because I couldn't think of a title, and for some reason hate leaving posts untitled. Also it is/was raining.

Bad bad bad few days. I lost my temper yesterday; which is bad. At least I only threw my phone, and apparently it's more durable than it looks (Y).

Anyway, I'm not going to go into what made me angry because it may get me annoyed again if I have to think about it enough to type it out in relative detail, and frankly I fear for my laptop. So I'll start with Friday evening.

Matt and Joe came round, which was great ^^ Conor was also supposed to be there, but alas, he had to babysit. As usual (sort of), my mum suggested making it a sleepover, it became a sleepover, it was funsies.

Also, Matt taught me Paranoid Android on guitar. Brilliant song! (Y)

On to tonight, Lou's party thing. I need to get ready, I'm setting off in an hour, and it's supposed to be semi-formal. God knows how that's gonna work out for me, I'll probably end up in a suit :L.

Can't wait for it, though. I'll just look through the guest list to see who's going... Oh well, at least I know, like, more than half of them. Too many people for my liking, but it'll no doubt split into several small conversations, with very blatant segregation between what I'm laughing at myself for just thinking of as 'us' and 'them' (I want to insert some form of thing to say that I'm laughing, I just used ':L', I don't like 'lol', and Haha doesn't look right in a blog. However, be assured that I'm laughing to myself). Kheniewhue, (k-hen-ee-woo: sort of like anyway but in a funny voice) I may go get ready. I'm being... let's say safe with my timing here, seeing as it's likely to take me less than ten minutes to get ready, and I'm giving myself an hour.

Be reet.

Oh, and fuck that rhyming couplet thing, I have nowhere near enough creativity for that.

Bye. :P

Bad day

Fucking hell it's been a bad day. Seriously, the hilight of my day was learning about Quantum Phenomena in Physics. Admittedly, that was pretty damn interesting, but it's still been a pretty damn bad day.

Got up, got ready as usual, packed my bag, and put my for for the Oxbridge trip in an envelope. There's only twenty-five places, and it's first-come-first-served, so I really need to get it in today. Fifteen minutes before my bus was due, and nothing else to do, so I played guitar for a bit. Grabbed my bag, set off, got the bus as usual. Part way to college, I realise I've forgotten the fucking envelope! Fucking hell I was annoyed, until Joe suggested texting my mum and asking her to bring it to college. She did (thank the nine that I have such a good mum), so that turned out alright. Maths was... how to put it... more boring than counting the number of blades of grass in every field in England, then calculating the mean and standard deviation of the results. Good god it was a boring lesson.

Then break, which I spent looking for tickets to a band thing that Signal Fire are playing at (I love Signal Fire), then I went to the hilight of my day - Physics.

I could go on for ages explaining every detail of what we were learning about - and have every intention of doing so.

You see, we studied a Quantum Phenomena called Particle-Wave duality, which is about light acting as both a wave and particle and electrons (i.e., matter) acti-

Nah, I wouldn't do that to ya. You'd just stop reading.

Critical thinking was... well... critical thinking. Tony seemed to have run out of stuff to teach us, so he basically told us to construct an argument using words to describe an argument, which is silly.

No driving lesson, my granddad's ill :( that sucks on all levels, I like driving lessons.

So I went home. An uneventful journey back, except for Simmy trying to blind me and burn Conor.

Just less than an hour at home, then I set off for the bus stop to go to the gig thing - that'll brighten my day!

I missed the bus. It was fucking early, which is far worse than being late. If it's early, you've got no fucking option. If it's late, you just have to wait for it.

So I missed the gig thing. That fucking sucked.

So I was going to settle in for a night of homework and Dragon Age, when I decided to dick up my day more by arguing with Nichola. Very basically, I said something, she read into it more than I intended it to mean, it was not fun.

I fucking hate texting, it takes ages and is generally uncomfortable to do.

That seemed random, but a lot of it happened over text, and I hate proper conversations via text when I'm busy.

I went to do homework more or less mid-argument, which was probably a good thing because it gave Nichola time to calm down and me time to let the whole thing go.

So that's... probably sorted. I hope it is, anyway.

Then I came on here to blog about my shitty day because I don't feel right just complaining about my day to someone but I'm perfectly happy to complain at this and you don't have to feel bad if you don't read it ^^

I think I'm going to do Shakespeare's thing and put a rhyming couplet at the end of each scen- blog post. Starting next time; right now I can't think of a rhyme.

Plag

I've never been good with words - there's not enough words for every kind of thought, so you just have to sort of go for the nearest one and it can be taken differently to how you mean it. the best analogy I can think of is rounding numbers. For example, say I'm thinking of 4.499999..., and there's only words for intergers (1,2,3,4,5,6...), I have to round it off and say 4, but that could be taken as 3.5. That probably doesn't make any sense to anyone, but I imagine you can sort of guess what I'm trying to say.

That's been a recurring problem recently. It's like when people say 'What're you thinking', and you can't put words to what you were thinking so you say 'Nothing'.

Anyway, this post is all over the place.

Also, I've gotta say thanks for everyone asking me if I'm okay, it's really appreciated.

Also, I'm quite proud I got through Friday without breaking anything. Which is always a bonus.

Since Friday, I've found I've had a lot of sort of empty time to do stuff that I'd like to do - for sad, soul-crushing example, I've deleted my saved data on Dragon Age and started it properly: brilliant game. A lot grittier than I'd imagined, which is good. I could do with a gritty RPG.

Also, I've read a reasonable amount this weekend. Lewis Carroll's a fucking genius.

I've also (I realise I'm overusing 'also') been getting up earlier this weekend. I got up not long after seven today and yesterday. Today I did most of my homework before going out to see my dad's new house in Hutton. Isn't it great that I enjoyed my homework? Not great - what's that other one? Soul-crushing. That's the one.

Adieu.

Through the Looking Glass

I haven't posted for a while - haven't been on my laptop much recently. I've not had as much relaxing time recently. I have a feeling I will again relatively soon.

Henywhump, I've been reading 'Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There' recently, and it's really starting to affect my ability to string together a normal sentence (which isn't great in the first place [and I don't want it to be, really: my way's funnier]). Half the time when anyone else might say 'a lot' or 'loads', I come up with something like 'as much as a...' and then some shit about a rabbit or similar small animal. Ah well, 'tshall be reet.

Things seem to be going... erm... I don't know how to put this. I don't think there's a word for how I'm currently feeling about life in general. Not long ago it was great; now I'm pretty much divided. Half the time I'm great: could hardly be happier with everything. The other half of the time I feel like I'm at the end of my tether. I can't stand stuff and just generally want to change everything. It's not even like mood swings, it tends to last for a couple of days either way. It's happened before - a few years ago (year 8? Something like that) - and if it happened another time before that I can't remember.

Anyway, right this moment I'm in the less happy half of the time, but I'm still in a good mood by simply not thinking very much.

Results tomorrow - this will either be a nice ego-boost or a decent sign that I'm gonna have to work for my A-levels if I want to get into Cambridge, which would be nice.

Fucking facebook; I try to post on my blog and I get 20 notifications =_=. I hate facebook nowadays. Still go on it - don't want to miss anything :P

Adieu.

Thursdays

I never could get the hang of Thursdays

Mondays

What the hell is wrong with Mondays? I don't think I've had a reasonable Monday in months. Unreasonable doesn't mean bad, by the way, it just means unreasonable. You can't reason with a Monday.

So yeah, today I don't think I had a full lesson. My full day, and I don't have a full lesson! Physics first thing: we did a practice ISA, which was, to put it politely, easy as fuck. Half an hour in to the lesson, me and the three other people I talk to in there were finished (Emily, Hannah, and Katie), and pissed about for the other hour. Further maths, we had a test that lasted an hour and got to leave after that (fucking legend of a teacher). Chemistry; always a piss about with Heena, and the teacher was gossiping half the lesson which was fun ^^, then maths was easy, but matt left half way through ): but then the teacher went a bit giddy and it was quite funny pissing about near the end xD

Then college finished, went for coffee with Nichola (xD), she came round, shit happened as usual ('twas great fun this time), and I decided to give her the link to my old blog. Now, that may or may not seem like a ridiculous idea to those who've read it, but it was a risk I decided to take and it could hardly have turned out better. So we're sort of having one of those teenage semi-meaningful conversations at the moment that stemmed from a meaningful one.

Tomorrow'll be... interesting, methinks.

I shall report in on Wednesday, hopefully.

Adieu.