There are trap doors

And there are revolving doors.

Pulk Pull Revolving Doors - by Radiohead, obviously.

So many songs I absolutely love at the moment. I've been listening to two albums over and over again, and they're just fantastic. There's a few things that deserve mention, that I don't feel that I can mention. I seriously need to start up another blog that I can actually post what I want to post on.
Shit, I've just remembered part of a dream last night; I couldn't remember if I dreamed it or not, and it's just hit me that it was definitely a dream. Thank the nine, that would've been a CATastrophe!

No pun intended.

So... let's talk before I got home. Further maths: the single hardest mock ever conceived by man, woman, child, or foetus was set. Everyone came out asking everyone else if they had failed.

Tutor, I actually did some tutorial work! Which is unusual, but it's gotta be done by next week. It was a good laugh with Matt, at least.

Chemistry: another test. This one wasn't that hard, but I'm pretty sure I failed anyway. I've pretty much given up on the subject, it's just not my kinda thing.

Then, lunch! Good fun is always to be had. Although due to my habit of not having breakfast, and the student lounge's lack of wegetarian sandwiches, I went food-less for most of the day. It's reet, though. I bought a hot-chocolate; fucking love 'em from Costa! After that and giving 11p to charity, I currently have PRECISELY fuck all in the way of money. It's reet, £50 has managed to buy me lunch since Easter, so I'm thinking I've been doing alright managing my money [Although I'm not sure exactly how long ago Easter was :S] (Also, the thing on the left was meant to be a ':S' face, not the monstrosity it turned out as which I'm going to claim is my new specialised smiley xD)

I got lots of work done in my free last thing, and the bus was very fun ^^ spent half the journey laughing at two douches' crappy music that one of them was blastin' from his blackberry :'D

That's pretty much it for the normal parts of today. Catch up on the rest of my day at www.ifyouactuallyclickthislinkyou'reabitdim.co.uk

Good fun. Oh and if you figured the link out without clicking on it, click it anyway, made me giggle.

See what I did there?

Nor do I

Adieu :S]

Thursday again

I'm starting to love Thursdays. I have what should be a really shit day, but it always seems to go pretty damn well. Driving this morning was pretty uneventful, maths was a doss as is becoming usual, we did a test in chemistry, which was boring, and we made posters in physics, which was pretty damn funny.

We had a sub in maths, and me and Matt hated her. She was just loud and annoying, so we were constantly planning how to kill her, pretty much.

We had a test in chemistry. Fifteen mark paper, and we had an hour. Most people, including me, were finished in ten minutes. Everyone was finished within twenty. Someone asked whether we could do something else (we weren't allowed to talk to each other, it was part of our AS levels, so most of us would rather pretend to learn and piss about), but it turned out that we had to sit through the whole hour. So I sat there, with nothing better to do, memorising the periodic table [yep, I got that bored], and contemplating how easy it would be to put my headphones in and wap some music on.

Physics. God I'm useless at making posters, but gotta love physics (Y).

Lunch. Thursdays lunches are generally a very good point of the day at this point.

So there you go; Ben's Thursday.

Again, Adieu.

Time

Is relative. The faster you move through space, the slower you move through time. Isn't that interesting?
Once again, I'm in the situation where I want to post, but I don't want to post anything.
I wish things were simpler. I can't be bothered trying to work things out anymore, so for the most part I'm just going to trust in my lovely friends' advice that they've given me so very many times. It's just kinda hard advice to follow, but they sure as hell know better than me.
Unrelated to that, I hate when the best solution is to just wait and see what happens. I mean, I don't want that! I don't have time to waste! we're almost half way through college. Already.
Don't dwell too much on that, I've just realised there's nothing to be gained by fretting about it.
You see, it must seem like I've had a really bad day, but it's really not been that bad. We did a mock in maths, which was [don't judge me for this] quite fun, physics is always great, and critical thinking was another mock, but it wasn't that bad.
I finished Dragon Age, too. First play-through, so I've got a couple more before I'm bored of it, methinks.

I wish my damn arm would hurry up and heal. It's just annoying having a bandage on, and it'll hurt like hell if it hits something without a bandage on, so I'm stuck until that heals.

Frankly, I think the reason that I'm constantly seeming... less than happy in a few recent posts is that I'm bored. Not as in, I post when I'm bored (I post pretty much every time I'm on my laptop), I'm just generally bored. Maybe I'm being far too hard to please - Ok, just read that back, I'm certainly being hard to please - but I don't feel like I've got anything to look forwards to. I mean, in the longer term, there's stuff: like the end of exams and the start of summer. However, for example, what can I look forwards to this week? I have no plans. The only thing I've got that resembles plans at the moment is that if I'm in on Saturday morning, I'll probably go to see a house in Penwortham. Oh yeah, I'm also probably moving house soon, which really sucks. I've always lived in this house, as far as I'm concerned, and I don't really want to leave it.
Anyway, I've got little to say, so Goodbye and Adieu.

Watchmen

Fucking great film.

As you may have noticed, I've not had a great week. However, this weekend's been brilliant. Firstly, I went biking with Matt and his dad, Jan [I'm pretty sure it's Jan], I'd never been before, and it was one hell of an experience. I went through the whole track only falling off at one particularly tricky little hill thing, which I then went back and tried again, and succeed! There was one part that was a MASSIVE slope, seriously steep, like to the point that if I'd thought it through I'd certainly have said 'no, this is a bad idea, there's tree roots and rocks, I may well fall off and seriously injure myself and the slope's FUCKING WELL STEEP', but I didn't think about it, did it, and was so very proud of myself afterwards. Then, after all my amazing feats of daring and pure skill [not luck at all] on the track, I was persuaded by Matt to try a jump from a ramp. Obviously I went right over the handlebars, grazed my elbow, but was generally okay, the fall had Matt and his dad in stitches. Then came the phrase "You may as well give it another go" from Matt. So, after some deliberation, I did. I didn't fall off this time, but I landed pretty precariously. Then came the phrase again "You may as well give it another go". So I did, and I landed precariously again, but stayed at the business end of the handlebars. So, Matt came along with his lovely new catchphrase "You may as well give it another go". I was at the point of giving up, but Matt can play me like Conor can play the kazoo. He basically set it as a personal challenge to do it, and he said he'd set the pace for me. So he rode alongside me, because supposedly the reason I was failing was to do with not going fast enough. So I kept up with Matt, went over the ramp at speed, leaned back as far as I physically could [as instructed], and went flying over the handlebars at speed, landed on the same elbow, obviously, winded myself a bit, grazed my side, doubled the grazing on the elbow, but was pretty much okay. Matt and his dad were, at this point, in absolute tears laughing. Fucking great fun, all in all, but it'll take me a few weeks to fully recover.

Here seems as good a place as any, I'ma tell you about my nightmare. [You'll see later in the post what I mean by that]. In my nightmare, that I had last night, I remember being in a small creamy white hard room sort of thing, which was actually just a part of the room proper. There was a sort of gap in the wall to get in and out, and the walls didn't reach the roof, It wasn't very high, either. Me and Matt and a couple of other people were hiding, but it was only me and Matt in this little bit of the room, and I led in the small gap between the wall and roof to see outside the little room thingy. The next thing I remember is being inside the mini-room, and someone ran in and tagged us. I'm not certain why, but I then started getting very angry at Matt and the person that tagged me. On reflection, they hadn't done anything wrong, but I was so angry I didn't care. I ended up in the room proper, it was square and white like the other bit, had a gap instead of a door, but the walls reached the ceiling. There was a basic wooden chair with a painting above it - only a small one, very basic painting, I didn't see exactly what it was, but I vaguely remember it being red-ish and had something resembling a tree on it. There was a door [gap] opposite the chair. I sat on the chair, with just one other person in the room. Through the doorway sort of thing I could see a little cabinet with a vase on top, with five flours in [I remember the vase in detail, down to the number and colour of flours] It occurred to me that more people had been playing the tag/hide-and-seek game, but no-one was left. Suddenly I knew that something had killed them. That something then started to grip me, compress me, bearing in on me from all sides, making me struggle to breathe, I was panicking, I was certain I was going to die. I was scared for the other person in the room, too. They'd be next, I wanted to stop it getting to them, but I couldn't. I was going to die. I couldn't breathe.

I woke up, lying with my duvet horizontal, on my side, arms both sort of in front of me. That's why I couldn't breathe in the end. My actual self couldn't breathe, so it transferred over into the dream. See why I didn't want to end on that? [I've backtracked, you'll get it in a minute]

Today, I watched Watchmen with my dad and brother. I LOVE that film. Other than that, today's been pretty normal, but I'm still in a good mood from yesterday.

I was also very happy to check my phone this morning after not looking at it since yesterday and see that three people had asked me if I was going to town, which very much made me feel... I don't know, generally happy that three people thought of me. That probably sounds ridiculous/pathetic, but it means a lot to me, go away >.<

Also, Lou's back! Probably sucks for her, to be on our cold wet little island again, but I'm glad to have her back [I imagine a fair few other people are, too].

Also, my mum bought me another surprise alarm clock and two folders. She has an odd idea of the sort of things I like to receive randomly, but I'm happy because it's just my sort of thing; sturdy and practical. Also, folders are always nice, mine are bound to break at some point.

I'ma backtrack and tell you about my nightmare now, because I don't want to end on a low, because all in all it's been a pretty awesome weekend.

Here's a weird little recurring thought of mine to end on, and some of you reading this may be thinking 'oh god' when I say this, but I was thinking [being the nerd I am] about Newton's first law of motion. The wording I know is:

"An object will remain in constant uniform motion unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force."

Now, I was thinking of how to better word that in simple terms, and ended up with a nice piece of advice for life in general:

"Things don't change unless you change them"

Thanks for that, Newton; I bid you Adieu.

Pointless

This blog is starting to feel utterly pointless. Anything I want to say, I can't. This is almost certainly brought on by me being in a bad mood still, but I just wish things would become less... tangled. I also wish I had more to look forward to. It's really starting to get me down constantly thinking that I need to do homework or I should really revise for this or read through that. It's getting unbearable. I'm currently preferring being at college to the rest of the day; I hate being alone at home. Mum's out constantly and Jamie's got his own work to do, or he's doing something on his laptop. And frankly, I can't talk to Jamie that much, after 17 years there's not that much left to say. I can't be bothered playing my Xbox, I feel like I'm getting nowhere with guitar and I can't properly get into any books. I just wish I had someone to talk to more often. Not over MSN or the Xbox mic, someone to actually talk to. Some introvert I am, but I feel alone constantly and it's just depressing.

At college, I've actually got something to do, people to talk to. I suppose I'm just bored more than anything, but I've got so many thing I could do, I just don't want to do them.

Anyway, I'm going to at least try doing stuff, so for now I'll bid you Adieu.

I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

I use that quote too often.
Really though, today was a textbook good day. I can't fault it in the slightest, there were few ways in which it could've been better. Yet, I'm not particularly happy. I was finding Battlefield simply frustrating - which is unusual. Everything went about as well as expected. I think I'm just bored with things at the moment. I can't really explain that, I just think I'm finding everything... [I'm looking for a word between pleasant and dull]. Lunch and the bus home were the two best parts of today, but even they were just... not exactly how I'd've liked.
"A heart that's full up like a landfill,
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal. "
I realise I keep referencing that song, but at the moment it pretty much sums stuff up at the moment [No Surprises - Radiohead].

And that's all I gots to say about that.

I suppose I should bid you Adieu.

Juggling

Seriously cannot think of a better post title. That was pretty much the only good to come out of today so far. It's really frustrating >.< I hate being ill, because I can't eat which puts me in a bad mood. I'll manage.
I feel the need to write this blog post, but I've got virtually nothing to say =/
More people read/have read this than I thought. I was under the impression that only three people read it, but apparently some people just use the link on Facebook.
Also, it's sunny =D I like sun, it makes me happy ^^ I suppose that's another good point of today, really.
This is getting pretty incoherent [probably the right word], so I'ma leave it here, with just a nice sentence to round it off.
Ok, I'm backtracking a bit here, this next bit may not make much sense without explanation. Ask me about it sometime :P.
Does anyone remember that thing where after you use the word 'because'
Adieu

CHEMISTRY

THREE HOURS OF IT.

Firstly, homework for an hour and a half. Then, lesson for an hour. Then, resit for half an hour.

That's a lot of fucking chemistry.
On top of that, I've only had one meal today, and that wasn't exactly a propper meal, because I'm still feeling ill.
Despite 2/3ds of my frees today being taken up by chemistry - bearing in mind that most of my frees are on a Tuesday - and not eating propperly, today was pretty good. It's hard to say why, certain ups have just made my day. For example, getting a pack of polos instead of a kitkat today at about twenty past four (I hadn't eaten all day, litterally. I was pretty sure I'd be able to keep it down) and I ended up pressing the wrong number, and to make some point which no-one other than this one guy in Greenwich understands, ate the whole pack in one. Good fun (Y)
Then there was James in further maths, who made me laugh by telling me that he needs to get credit on his phone...
[James]"... So that I can reply to texts. You see, I aim to reply to about 70% of texts. I calculate it fairly frequently."
Damn he makes me laugh sometimes.
Anywho, a few particular hilights of the day there. D'ya know what? despite my predictions of a crap week, things are looking up :)
Adieu.

Firstly...

Conor's blog has got to be in my top three favourite things on the internet.
Secondly, I just read the start of my last blog post, and I've realised something. This may sound very odd, but it made me think about my current little issue, and I'm so glad of it. Simply because of how small an issue it is in perspective of this year. I feel like I've sort of got a (tense for toe-curlingly cringe-worthy phrase) fresh start. Nine be damned, I wish I had a better phrase than 'fresh start' - I'm not starting from scratch. I'm not gonna get too much into this. Instead I'm going to [probably] very irritatingly talk about my little problem without divulging any specific information about it.

For the above reason, you can feel free to skip this next paragraph.

Grr, I know what the right thing to do is; I just don't want to do it. To do the wrong thing (no I did not just type 'the opposite to the right thing' and have to delete it) would be kind of selfish and waaay too risky. Only it's not that risky for me. I can't decide whether it's worth the risk on someone else's behalf: I'm very much biased. Wow, this must seem like utter bullshit to you. I'ma tell your past self that you don't have to read this. Holy shit that's a weird concept. It's almost as bad as the first time you see the oracle in The Matrix, with the whole vase thing. Fucking love those films.

I'm considering taking up poi and juggling again, just because it's fun. I'm actually gaining hobbies: awesome. =D

Guitaring's going well, poi/juggling being re-started, amateur free-running starting. Sun's out. Sky's clear (see Conor's blog). Fuck yeah.
Adieu.

No Alarms

I feel a little ill, but that'll sort itself out soon, I think.

I've got an internal debate going on at the moment, which I could really do to sort out soon. Why I feel the need to type that up on here, but I don't want to tell anyone, is beyond me. I really don't understand that.

I've had a great day so far, but the moment lunch finished, and I was on my own, I felt really down. It'll sort itself out in a bit.

I had an early finish today; I was tempted to stay in college, do some work, and get the later bus home. I don't want to talk much about that either.

Stupid little problems.

Ah well, Adieu for now.

Hell Yeah

Battlefield = Amazing

Sun = Fantastic

Subjects at college = Really interesting; we're doing my FAVOURITE topics in physics and further maths. Love it (Y)

Lunches are awesome.

Busses are more frequent.

Guitar Pro's great.

iPod touch is fantastic.

New student lounge is great :D

Ok, so enough optimism. There are a few problems I'd like sorting. One of which is sort of a bitter-sweet thing; busses.

They're now every twenty minutes, which is great. However, I'm now tending to get home at about 5 due to the unfortunate timing of the busses.

There's another up and down point that I don't want to mention on here, but they're there.

So, there's really not much to say other than life's good, and I'm pretty busy at the moment (by that I mean I want to spend all day on Battlefield, but y'know).

Now, I'd like to get an early night, and there's a couple of things I need to do before I get to sleep, so I'll rush off and bid you all Adieu.

No Surprises

I fucking love that song; it's been stuck in my head for the later half of today, even whilst listening to other music - it's just that good.

I'ma tell you about today, in reverse chronological order. Why? Shut the fuck up, that's why.

I'm currently writing a blog post. In this blog post I'm writing about writing a blog post about writing a-

Okay, start from somewhere else.

I was on CoD - it's not my favourite game at the moment, I should've played something else on reflection.

Before that I was on battlefield, brilliant game.

Before that I did my homework which is only in for Friday, which I'm well proud of :D

Prior to that, normal stuff between getting off the bus and getting in happened.

Before that I was in further maths, learning about imaginary numbers and having a Chinese person borderline come out to me, which was odd. I do know him, Ka-hei, I just think it sounds funnier when I put it like that.

Lunch, Hikari (I think that's how it's spelt) was with us at lunch, which was good (Y).

Chemistry, I was doing pretty damn well, and it was a fun lesson.

Free period, listened to music and talked to a few people. Fucking love music nowadays.

R.E., pretty funny having a very short debate about god and ghosts and shit.

So yeah, nothing particularly unusual happened, nothing that interesting, but I can't fault the day.

That's the main reason I called this post 'No Surprises'. However, I think there's only Jamie who may read this and understand what that means. Ah well.

Actually, one thing I should mention that had Conor crying laughing was this post on Facebook:

That felt fucking cool: to move that picture to the bottom I had to go into the HTML and copy the coding. Fuck yeah.

Adieu.

Sun

suns reads the same upside down. I didn't know that.

Ehniewhey, the sun's out! Good stuff. It's been a great holiday overall; plenty to do, got an iPod Touch, got a new game, played some Warhammer with Matt and Andy yesterday, which was great (I won both times :D), gone to town and shiz with Conor a few times, went to town with Imy once, and if I've missed anything or anyone I'm sorry but my memory's not that great.

ooOOoo, also, me and Jamie watched the three Matrices (plural of Matrix), which was absolutely awesome. They are such good films it's unbelievable. I love one bit where someone asks Morpheus a question, and he just answers "Because some things never change. And some things do". Now, I don't know about anyone else, but as far as I can tell that statement passes on absolutely no information at all - that made me laugh.

I suppose there is something to be gained from it - things are going to change. It sucks sometimes, but they do. There's plenty of things that've changed which I really didn't want to, but there's no need to go into that.

Also, I feel it needs mentioning that my great grandma died a few days ago. It wasn't really a surprise, she was ill in hospital and very old. Also, I didn't know her very well at all; I haven't seen her for well over two years, as far as I can remember. The thing that seems a bit strange is that I was far sadder when my cat died than when my great grandma died. To be fair, I'd barely gone a day of my life without seeing that cat, Mrs. Jones. We'd had her longer than I've been alive.

Anyway, on to more pressing matters, homework. I'm sick of the idea of it - it shouldn't be allowed that they give us this much, when this holiday what I really needed was a break. I needed to rest, stop worrying about everything, give stuff time to be how it will be. That last bit probably made no sense. Be reet.

Anyway, another thing's been nicely rediscovered recently ;) But I won't go into that.

For now, once again, I bid you adieu.

Fade to Black

That's a depressing title; however, that's just the song I'm learning on guitar thanks to Matt. MetallicA do great guitar riffs (please be the right word), but their singer has the voice of a dead camel. Yes, a dead camel.

Yesterday was awesome; I went to the park with Joe, Conor and Jamie. Conor taught me to jump over the fences and onto the little metal hut thingy, which was awesome. However, my arm hurts because of it, and I have no idea when I could've hurt my arm. I'm assuming I've just pulled a muscle or something, and I refuse to admit the possibility that it's broken for two reasons: firstly, I didn't do anything that could've broken my arm; and secondly, it hurts less today than it did yesterday. In conclusion; great day, hurt arm, be reet.

*deletes slightly gay and weird sentence* I'm going to town, meeting Matt and Conor, buying an iPod Touch, trading in some games, getting Battlefield Bad Company 2, and going home. I realise you probably knew already that I was going to go home at some point, but I'd already committed myself to adding something else to the list by not putting 'and' before getting Battlefield.

Also, I'm so very proud of myself for learning the intro to Fade to Black by myself in two days; I can't wait to learn the rest of it!

Right, I'ma do some more general blogging now;

Life's pretty damn good. Everything seems to be going well. Fairly uneventful, but I like that. No stress (until I try to do my homework, at least), no pressure, I'd absolutely LOVE another week off; these two weeks have been exactly what I needed. I was very much feeling overwhelmed before the holiday, but everything's better now. I'm actually looking forward to my homework, in an odd sort of way. Just thinking through my subjects, Maths is the only one that we're doing something awful in; Decision =_=. I hate it, but it's only one module. Today should be good, as soon as Conor comes on MSN or something, so that we can get this town trip organised.

And with that, I bid you a very happy and relaxed adieu.

Dragon Age

That game is absolutely amazing; but more on that in a minute.

Firstly, Kick-Ass. I've already seen it twice since it came out: I enjoyed it more the second time, probably because I was with my friends and could really appreciate the bizarrity of the comedy, and the sort of atmosphere of the cinema was more 'That's hilarious' than 'This is too violent'. I love how it broke the conventions of an American hero film, and not putting explosions in like they're no big deal. However, I wasn't keen on the beginning and end being done the conventional easy way. Nonetheless, great film (Y) I'd definitely recommend it.

Now, back to Dragon Age. Such. A. Good. Game. I'm actually spending as much time on it as I can: I've got two more characters lined up after this one which I can play through again; I haven't done this since Oblivion. I really need a good RPG game right now too, it's just a great genre for losing yourself in; and we're playing a crap TTRPG at the moment.

At this point I'm gonna need to explain what that is, so skip past the italics if you already know.

TTRPG: Table-Top Role-Playing Game. It's a game - like Dungeons and Dragons - that is NOT a video game. You sit at a table, and have things described to you, and you actually act out a character. In many ways, it's far better than video games; there's no problems with graphics, loading screens, it's more fun because you're with your friends doing it, you get into it much more, and, most importantly, you have absolute versatility. There's no dialogue options, you can say absolutely anything you want to say. If there's a problem, there's as many ways to solve it as you can think of. Yes, it's just sitting around talking, in short.

At the moment, we're playing Vampire: The Masquerade. Now, I don't mind vampires in bits, but I've never been keen on things such as the idea of 'draining blood', or 'blood pouring'. I'm not always squeamish, but that really gets me. I don't particularly like anything about the game, to be honest, but it's my opinion verses Joe and Phil's.

But anyway, Dragon Age is amazing, and I'm going to play on it instead of typing away about how awesome it is.

On that note, I bid you adieu.